Experience over time pays. Not more than what numbness yields.
Numbness for me is the father of success.Every numb moment adds as a treasure to my already half happy and subdued life.Numbness helps me create a world that I actually want to live in.Numbness for me is the key and the explanation.
Intrestingly enough music helps me create that numbness that I wish for.I hate music for one but at the same time it helps me create the world that I want to live in through numbness. Whenever I listen to Music I more often concentrate on the receding speed then on the words or the beats themselves. Numbers that have fast music make me feel high just like someone who is drunk. Some numbers make me emotionally blatant and some give me the power and the will to fight.
Comparing I feel Music is more powerful than words. Music is actually the death of the unhappy soul. I look further and I find a new beginning to what is already a small end to a bizarre situation.However my eternal hatred for music makes it a substance or more rather and object of paradox.
I remember the times when I used to sit by the window and look at the falling rain for ages.I had sit there think about things I would want in life. I had dream about the money , the family , the long moments of hapiness. Looking out of the window now to a strange uninviting warm weather the moments just turn black and fade into the eternal silence.
The worst things I hate about music is the way they attach it to the movies with a specific situation. More often I feel like I am not listening to the song but I more importantly want to place myself at the hands of the situation that was there when I watched that song from that movie.They seem to play around with the emotions in not so healty manner exploding the most soft moments of people’s life and articulating them into some huge revenue.
So I have stopped listening to most of the worded songs.I now sometimes listen to instruments. I listen to instrumental songs.That way I am in control of making my own web and dream and attaching it to the rythym.This experiment actually is very enlightening and mood lifting.
With a number and lyrics I flow to what someone has already created but with the instrumentals I have all the power and will to my imagination.I can create and demolish the world. This makes me more happy.
So then the instrumental music also helps me in creating the numbness , the dire silence and the not so unhappy world that I had rather live.Thinking of it most people love music. I for one hate it.
